My Way
by Trivette Lover Heather
Summary: There will never be another like him. Major Character Death. Slightly rewritten and placed in chapter form.
1. Chapter 1

My Way

By: Bubba Susanne & Trivette Lover Heather

Enjoy!

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"I want to first thank all of you for coming today." Joe stopped and looked around at the over flowing capacity of the church. Outside cars were parked for miles down the road, filling up parking lots of restaurants and side streets. Inside, people crammed into every available spot. It was silent, except the occasional cough or baby crying. As he looked out into everyone's faces, their eyes so sad, with heartfelt and utter sadness, he continued.

"We're here today to remember, a friend, a father, a son, a cop and a brother." He thought he could have at least made it through the first sentence without shedding a tear, but he couldn't. The first of many fell as he took a deep breath and continued.

"Nash Bridges was and is the greatest human being I have ever known. And for those of you who disagree, just look around this church, or look outside. He has touched so many lives, and will never be forgotten. We were partners for twenty-five years, longer than some of you rookies have been on the force. And most of you know, we were practically married, we spent pretty much every waking hour together, and yes even at 3 AM. We shared all of our special moments together, my wedding, his two, the birth of our children, all our successes and downfalls. We always had each other to lean on and knew exactly what the other was thinking it just at the moment they were thinking it. We put our lives on the line for each other and there was no doubt I had his back and he had mine…

No fine print. Besides being the best police officer to ever grace this city, he was a beautiful person. When he loved, he loved completely. He could make you think he hated ya, but put his neck on the line for you the next second. He could make a kid laugh at his magic tricks after they had witnessed something terrible. He could light up an office of cops who every once in a while got down on themselves. He looked out for every one, whether you were a desk clerk or a veteran detective. But sometimes his heart was too trusting and he was hurt by a lot of people, but he always took it in the chin, he never backed down. And he was stronger for it. He never had much luck with women, but boy did they love him. He didn't think he was a good enough dad, but Cassidy couldn't ask for someone to love her more. He made sure he always did right by people, no matter what they'd done….

And in return sometimes he'd get nothing. But no one told Nash Bridges what to do. If there was ever an eye for loop holes, he had it boy. He always knew what clue to look for or what person to watch; he knew all the tactics a retired cop knew, only five years into the force. He never really needed to be asked to help, but knew when it was time to let go. A lot of times I worried about him merely because he cared too much sometimes. I know we are all going to miss Nashman at the SIU, and miss seeing the Cuda roam the streets of San Francisco but all of us have had special moments with Nash to keep with us, whether he was yelling at ya or frustrating ya cuz you couldn't figure out his magic trick, or simply smiling at ya when he got his coffee every morning. My partner may be gone, but his spirit will live on in all of us, and in the air of San Francisco. I love you bubba and I'm gonna miss ya. I'm going to end with something Nash said in his will to be read to the SIU….

_"Don't you think for one second, I won't be watching you, cuz once you slip up, think of me yelling at ya. And Ronnie, don't get lazy, keep working out, and Harv I love ya buddy, watch after Joe for me, and to all the SIU boys and girls, keep learning and always keep your guard up, and most importantly, never let anything happen to the Cuda."_ Joe looked out into the faces again, their eyes still sad, but a slight smile on their face.

Nash could always light up any room, he thought. And he couldn't keep his tears from flowing freely, as his mind wandered back to the reason why...why they were all here today. The reason why his partner... no, his friend, was dead. It made him cringe inside, but yet, he knew it was because Nash had done what they all saw him do every day. Like they knew him to be. Someone who'd risk his own life over those over others. Without a second thought...


	2. Chapter 2

My Way

Ch. 2

_Flashback_

"5 George 31 copies, we got a Code 3 at Market and 2nd, we're on our way." Nash acknowledged the call from the dispatcher as he threw a quick glance over his left shoulder to make sure nobody was blocking the other lane, onto which he steered the car, while Joe was putting the police lights onto the dashboard.

It's been a pretty quiet afternoon, and they had just been on their way to meet Stacy for some late lunch, as they got the call. A guy with a bomb. So he didn't care about the several red street lights they flew past on their way to the location, not even noticing how Joe had to steady himself against the door frame a couple of times, in order to remain seated on the passenger seat right beneath him.

When the Cuda eventually came to a halt with screeching tires and Nash immediately got out of seat, walking over to the officer in charge, Joe could barely keep up with his partner. But since he figured that all Nash would wanna do for now was gathering all the facts he could get, he didn't mind trailing a few steps behind and only caught up with Nash just as the officer introduced himself.

"Inspector, I'm Jack Thomas, I was put in charge of this situation."

"Okay, then I guess you're probably someone who can tell me a little bit more about it, other than what we already know. What's going on in there?", Nash asked, as he walked with the man, and pointed his thumb over at the building across the street, which obviously seemed to be the one in which the bomb was located, since everybody was making it a point to stay away from it.

After giving the building another once over, Jack directed his attention back at Nash and Joe, who had now stopped beside him. When he spoke up, his voice was all business, yet with a hint of a tremble in it.

"The man has locked himself up in there, and it looks like he's got some kind of explosive with him. So far we haven't been able to speak to him, so we don't exactly know what he's got. But someone who saw him go in, said it looked like C4, and enough of it to blow the house "to hell and back" as he put it. Until we get him on the phone we'll treat it as a bomb threat, nobody goes in before we know more."

Nash nodded shortly, knowing the standard procedure well enough to realize that officer standing right here in front of him was in head over heels, a young guy and obviously more than eager to play it by the book, probably trying to earn himself a medal if it played out okay. And if it didn't, well then there was most likely somebody else to be found to blame for it. And he wouldn't be surprised if the guy even tried to pin it on them. Oh how he loved the inner departmental policies...

Having heard enough to know that he'd only feel more comfortable about this whole thing, once he was in on it, Nash decided to offer his help, and the best help right now was to put the pieces of the puzzle together, so that they would have a clear picture to look at. He knew from personal experience that it was always easier and also less risky if you knew what you were dealing with.

"Alright, how about the other people inside? Did you get everybody out?" he asked, since he was certain, that if they still had people in there, this could get even uglier than it already was, and fast.

"Almost. Those downstairs were out first, and we could get everybody out the backside from the third floor, now all that's left is the middle one, the one our man is on. There may be somebody still in there, but we don't know for sure." Jack paused for a second to take a quick breath, before he nervously exhaled, "but like I said, I won't sent anybody in there to look, it's too risky."

Too risky.

_When Joe now remembered those words, they had an even more bitter taste than the salty tears that burned in his eyes as he walked back to his seat. And he couldn't help shivering at the thought, that whenever it had been too risky in the past, you could have bet your life that Nash was never too far away...  
_


	3. Chapter 3

My Way

Ch. 3

_Before Joe went back to his seat, he gave a strong pat on the shoulder to Harvey who was next to speak about their friend. Joe got a comforting hand from his wife, who watched her husband once again, cry what seemed like endless tears._

"Well boss, the word boss will never mean the same thing again. There will never be another Nash Bridges, it's just not possible. I mean, Joseph comes close, but he's Mexican." 

_He caught a quiet laugh from the crowd. "Seriously though, you were the greatest cop I had ever seen and had the pleasure to watch in action almost every day of my adult life… Nash was kind of like a mentor to me, well to a lot of cops starting on the force. He knew just the way to ask you to do something and when the right time was to do it... God, his heart was the size of the Grand Canyon; I mean he's had me shaking my head at some of the things he would do for people._

"_It's common at things like this to talk of only the good side of the person lost, but to be totally honest, whenever there was a bad side, it always seemed to be justified. And I wouldn't even say any of us have a bad side, we are human. Nash had such quick wit, which is why I think we worked so well together. I didn't have a dad growing up and never knew what it felt like to have one till I met Nash._

"_He and Joe taught me everything I know and will ever know about being a cop. From paper work to ethics. There is so much I'm gonna miss, but mostly I'm gonna miss the little comments, like; "Harv, what the hell did my computer just do?" Or just the way he said my name to ask me to do something. "Harvey" and me replying "Yeah boss?" _

_That I have to say will be what I will miss the most. I'm proud to say that I was friends with the best cop in the world, and the greatest human being I will ever know. God Bless you boss, I'm gonna miss ya."_

Flashback

"We've got a camera inside!", came the yell from one of a cops behind the squad car, who was just rushing over them, carrying a small screen, on which there was a black and white version of what looked like one of those web cams, that you found on the internet these days.

"Looks like our man forgot about the cameras in the building, so we got a look at the main walkway, and about half of the side corridors on his floor.", the man reported with a smirk on his face, that left no doubt he was glad that they had made at least some kind of progress. Switching through the different camera angles, though, it quickly became obvious that none of the camera's covered the room in which the bomber was hiding. But when it showed yet another angle of the hall, everyone took a harsh breath, not believing what they saw, but fearing that this had just turned about 100 more serious.

"Joe, we need to get them out. And I mean right now."

At the determination in Nash's voice, Joe didn't even need to nod in acknowledgement, because there was no doubt left, that Nash would not be willing to stand around any longer doing nothing. And staring at screen, Joe couldn't help but swallow hard, as he watched the screen, that showed about a dozen children cowering in the corner of a small room, obviously too frightened to even move, let alone dare to get out and run past the man, who was somewhere on the floor with them.


	4. Chapter 4

My Way

Ch. 4

_Nick walked pass Harvey to the podium and took the microphone off. He took it with him as he walked to his sons' casket. He took out his handkerchief and wiped his tears as he began to speak. _

_"Hi son, I can't tell you how proud I am of you. Just sitting here listening to your friends talk about you and looking out to see the number of lives you have touched. I always knew you would be a success. You may have been a quiet kid; but boy you sure did have fight in you when it came to sticking up for yourself. _

"_One hope a father always has is that he lives long enough to see his children grow; I wasn't done watching you yet son, you or Bobby. But I know your mom will take care of you just like she did when she was alive. You always were a momma's boy. Thank you for caring so much about me Nash, I love you more than life itself…My memory may not be what it used to be, but I will never forget our good times, and even our stupid arguments. And don't you worry about Cassidy; she will be taken care of. May God bless and keep you until we meet again son. I love you." _

_He placed his hand on the casket and stood for moment of reflection. _

"There's no way you're gonna go in there, Inspector and I will call the Chief if this is what's necessary to make you listen to my orders, you hear me?" Jack Thomas hissed angrily, when he saw the mock expression in Nash's face, that told him that Nash Bridges hadn't been hearing him. At all. And he was fairly sure that this was because he was being ignored, as Nash simply walked past him and over to Joe, exchanging a few quick words with his partner, at which Joe simply nodded and went along.

"I told you to stop right there, Bridges!", Jack yelled after him, and only when a couple of his officers walked into Nash's way, blocking him from moving on, only then did Nash slow down, turning around in a flash and sending a low warning at Jack. And the slight sparkle in his eyes actually sent a sudden chill down Joe's spine.

"You DO know that if that man in there has got a bomb, these kids have no way of getting out of there before it goes off.", Nash spoke up, loud enough for everybody around to hear it, and it wasn't lost to Joe, that Nash sounded like he didn't dare anybody to ignore his words.

It was the tone he rarely ever heard from Nash, just because it seldom became necessary for his partner to raise his voice like that, but if he did, Joe knew that it was better not to respond in a negative way. There had been only a few people in the past who had been so stupid to answer back at Nash, when he was in that mood, but Joe couldn't recall even one, who had ever said another bad word about Nash's ever again afterwards.

Because when Nash used this kind of voice, it was the time when decisions got made, those about life or death. And as far as he could recall, in the end, all those who hadn't gone along with Nash's decision had either died because of their own fault, or still regretted it later on with all their heart.

So he almost felt sorry for Jack, when he heard the order that, although said amidst more than a dozen of officers, was directed exclusively at Nash:

"I know, but that doesn't give you the right to go in there. And if you make one more step towards that building, I'm gonna have you taken away from here and I will lock you up until this is over. Is that clear?!"

He didn't get an answer from Nash. Not even a broken nose. But the ten miles stare, with which Nash nailed him, was enough to have Jack swallowing slightly. And Joe would have sworn that Nash was about to turn around and walk on, despite Jacks threat, but he was stopped by the ring of a phone, not more than half a second before the two officers, standing near the exit, would have stopped him by force.

Everyone's head turned to where the ring had come from, which was the phone on the counter of the bar, at which they had set up their temporary command station. Since it was right across the street, yet out of immediate range, in case the building blew up, they could see the house right in front of them on the other side of the street, without being in any danger themselves.

But the sudden ring had everybody miss a heartbeat or two, nevertheless. When a moment later another officer, the one who'd set up the camera equipment earlier, confirmed that the call came from inside the building, Jack acknowledged it and grazed Nash with one last hasty look, before he went to pick up the phone.

If they played it right, they were about to find out who the hell was in that building and if he really had any explosives with him at all. Waiting for one more moment, Jack then picked up the phone simultaneously with Nash, who was listening in on the call together with Joe on another line.

"This is the SFPD, whom am I speaking with, please?" Jack said, sounding reassuring and like somebody who wouldn't even fear an attack from the 7th cavalry. At his identifying himself, a sudden sick laughter erupted at the other end of the phone, like somebody had just signed a lottery ticket and won, but knew exactly that he wouldn't live to enjoy it. It was the laughter of a maniac. But nothing he couldn't handle.

"Say, do you have a name, friend?" Jack tried to get an approach, to get the man to talk, to find out what he wanted.

"That is really sweet...you know, you wanting to know my name...", a slow, yet in some way also hasty voice, patient and on the edge, all at once. Like one of a man who in one second was giving you his hand, the next second he has thrown you down the ditch. And the laughter that followed again was something that really was making Jack sick. It was almost...nervy. But he kept his voice friendly, continuing the standard approach, convinced it would get him somewhere eventually.

"Yes, I do want to know your name, I mean, if that's okay with you. You know, I'd really like to get to know you, you see?" A short pause, then a small cough. The sound a foot scratching over the floor, then silence again.

"Are you okay, Mister?"

"Well, yeah...think so...okay.. I...am now...", the coughing started again, covered by a wacky giggling, that had Nash looking up from the phone he was holding.

Joe, who was still listening, caught the sudden change in Nash's behavior and was about to ask him, what was going on? The long sigh from Jack a few feet away from them, though, brought his attention back to the call and Joe kept on listening to the little more risky approach that Jack took now:

"Say friend, you got any company up there? I mean, why don't you come down from there and we have a nice talk down here. What do you say? You're probably lonely up there, aren't you buddy?", Jack smiled, feeling that all this needed was a little good talking to calm the man down and get everybody home without any more excitement.

"Company?" came the kinda surprised, then quickly fading reply that ended in another giggle." No man, no...need no company, man...no company...heehee...", he continued, almost friendly, even helpful.

At those words, though, Nash no longer had the receiver in his hand, and that was enough to have Joe look up from the phone as well, at which point he got the first undistracted look at the strange expression on Nash's face.

An almost angry one, as he noticed right away. And desperate, like something bad had already happened, and he knew he would be too late. Within a heartbeat the expression in Nash's eyes changed into a determined anger, but he didn't head for Jack, who was still talking to the madman on the phone.

He was heading for the door, almost running now, and with every step he came closer to the exit of the bar, the faster he moved. From where Joe had remained at the phone he could now hear the still faint but gradually intensifying "no..." coming from the depth of his partner's throat, a heart-wrenching sound, that instinctively made him look at the building outside.

And by the time the strangled cry of Nash's voice became loud enough to hear it clearly, Joe only faintly registered the still talking madman's voice on the phone, finishing the sentence: "...need no company...company...to die..."

The next thing either of them heard was the faintest sound of a click in the phone, accompanied by a completely stunned look on Jack's face, who finally realized what it meant, just as everything in the bar was over roared by the sound shattering wave of the explosion outside... 


	5. Chapter 5

My Way

Ch. 5

_After hesitating for a moment, as if wondering, if there was anything else he had wanted to say, Nick carefully turned to step down and gave a tight hug to Cassidy, as he walked down. He held her hand as she walked up and then, slowly he took his seat next to the other officers and friends, in the first row of seats in the church. _

_With a heavy heart Cassidy began to speak. "Hi every one." _

_She stopped when she looked out into the far crowd and saw a group of children in the corner. She started to cry and Joe and Lisa quickly made their way up to the podium to comfort her. She slightly pushed away as if to say 'I can do this' and she walked up to the podium once again. _

_"I'm sorry; I know this is hard for all of us. There's not too much to say about my dad, that hasn't been said already. It was always a cool thing as a little girl telling your friends that your dad was a cop. But as I grew it all became too real. It was cool and all having a cop as a dad, but having every police officer in San Francisco watching over you because they knew your dad wasn't so cool. _

"_I guess what I realized more and more was how dangerous this job really is. I never had that scary feeling every time he left in the morning that that could be the last time I saw him. But it is an honor to be known as Nash Bridge's daughter. One of the most respected men in San Francisco. He just loved me and my mom so much. He would literally do anything he had to, to keep us safe. He may have thought he wasn't such a great dad, because he didn't come to school plays or talk to me about my report card, but like at his job, there is nobody better and there never will be. I love you daddy, say Hi to Evan for me."_

The explosion was loud enough to swallow the frightened, even panicked yells that were shouted everywhere by officers to get the hell down, and for several moments all that could be heard was the deafening sound of shattering glass, walls and everything around them that was caught in the wave of destruction.

All around Joe, the walls were shaking, and glass was flying, hitting his arms as he crouched behind the bar table, where he and several others had sought shelter from the blast. At first Joe didn't even know how he'd gotten behind the table that fast, but figured that he'd been half dragged, and half stumbled by himself. But being stuck behind it, surrounded by three of four other cops who were telling him to stay small and take cover, he couldn't keep himself from looking around the corner of the table, not willing to hide, when he knew that Nash was right out there, maybe still inside the bar, maybe even outside already.

Geez, he didn't even wanna think about the possibility that Nash could have already made it outside, before the blast went off... Looking through the wall of smoke and debris that came in trough the door, he didn't see any further than his hand could reach, so he shook off the hand that was holding him behind the table and got up, stumbling and hurrying through the bar, heading into the direction that he remembered Nash had taken only second earlier.

Still not seeing too much of anything as he reached the door, that was now merely a left over off some broken glass and pieces, he stepped outside, where the smoke was clearing partly, letting him see shreds of an unobstructed view of what lay in front of him. And what he saw didn't let him breathe any easier. The house that had just stood there minutes ago was now completely on fire, though still standing, the three floor building looked like it was only a matter of time before it would come down eventually. 

Apparently, the structure had survived the blast, but the fire now raging inside would not allow anybody who might be still alive and trapped in there, to get out easily. But where the hell was Nash?! Joe didn't see him, let alone anybody, out here, which would suggest that Nash hadn't made it out of the door after all, that his partner was still inside the bar and in safety. He had probably just missed him in all the smoke inside. But just as he was about to turn around and run back inside, something made him hesitate, and look back at the burning building once more.

There, are the bottom of it, where once used to have been a revolving door, he could see the outline of somebody ripping off the side of the broken door frame, as if trying to get himself a way inside. And from the angry movements, as well as the silhouette that he could see through to the flames coming from the debris on the street, he no longer doubted that this was Nash, who was standing there, working with all his might on pulling off the door frame, so that he could get inside.

"Nash!" he yelled, hoping that his partner would hear him, and sending a silent "thank God" prayer to heaven, when he saw Nash laying off for a second, and looking back at him through the smoke. Seeing Nash look over to him, he couldn't make out his partners whole form, since most of his vision was blurred once again by the smoke, but what he saw almost frighteningly clear was the determination and despair in Nash's face as he set on working on the door again, just as Joe ran towards him.

Running over to his partner, Joe had trouble breathing since the smoke seemed to be thicker where he was standing now, but without thinking twice about it, he immediately pulled along with Nash, and together they succeeded in breaking the remains of the door out of its already melting frame. Only when

Nash was setting foot onto the wrecked door that was now lying at their feet, where it had opened an entrance to the building, Joe reached out and grabbed a hold of Nash's arm.

"Hey, wait a minute, you can't go in there, Nash.", Joe called out, letting out all the despair that he felt building up in his throat, and putting it into his voice.

"Joe, we need to get those kids out. We HAVE to..." , Nash replied with one short but intensive stare, quickly glancing back into the red hot blackness of the building, before looking back at Joe with a face that left no doubt he would go in there.

But yet he didn't shrug off Joe's hand on his arm, as he would have done with anybody else at that point. No. He waited. Precious seconds, looking at Joe. Then, after what seemed like a millennium of heartfelt emotions, which were passed within only the span of a breath, Joe's eyes narrowed, realizing that there was only one way.

And when he let go off Nash's arm, though only after squeezing it slightly for the fracture of a heartbeat, he nodded slowly. "Alright."

It was a word that neither of them would have needed to hear, but the look that was exchanged between them in that second, told both of them, that this was more than a promise. It was an oath. One that included no second guesses. It told both of them that Joe would be right beside his partner, and when they went in there, they'd go together. No ifs. No buts. No holding back.

"Let's go", Nash finally called out after the almost eerie silence of the moment, now overpowering the sudden noise coming from inside where more and more ways were covered with flames, blocking passages right and left.

The same second Nash walked in there, Joe, who was right behind him, already having trouble keeping his partner in sight, there were flames everywhere messing up the view of his surroundings. But following Nash on his heels, and stopping every now and then when they had to walk around a crumbled corridor, they made it up to the second floor, where they could hear the faint cries coming from the right side of the hall. And some from the very end of the corridor. Gesturing, Nash told Joe to come to him, and then he pointed his arm down the hall. And over the fire he yelled:

"Take those over here, I'll go to the back", he called, nodding once, and as soon as he was sure that Joe had heard him, he was already on his way over to where the faint cries where coming from, leaving it to Joe to get those kids that were obviously in the room to their right, closer to the stairs that they had just come up.

Joe could see some movement to his right, in the room Nash had pointed at, and immediately he crouched down again, keeping an eye on the flames and staying low on the floor as he hurried over to the room. Once at the room, he was confronted with nine small children, most of them girls as it seemed, and all of them were crying.

So putting on his calmest face, he tried to get a handle on the situation, getting them to listen to him. And since talking had always been the best way to accomplish that, he kept on talking, praying that it was enough to keep the children's minds off the burning building long enough to make them forget their fear and come with him.

"Hey, are you alright? Is anybody hurt?" he hesitated, not sure if he'd get an answer. Then, at the slight head-shake of one of the kids, and the stuttering 'no' from another boy, he felt a burden falling off his chest. At least nobody was hurt.

"Okay, now I want you to listen to me, alright? I'm a cop and we're here to get you out, okay? You hear me? We'll get you out of here in no time. Just stay low and don't try to breathe too deep in all this smoke. I want you all to take your friends by the hand. Yeah, that's it, great. You're doing fine. Now don't let go of anybody and we'll get down the stairs and we'll get you out, alright?",

Joe smiled at them, looking more convinced that he actually felt about it. But putting on a brave face, he made sure that the kids were holding hands, and not leaving anybody behind, as they were all crawling out the room together, with Joe right beside them, not wanting to risk loosing anybody on their way down.

He just hoped that Nash was making equally fast progress with the remaining children, because when Joe reached the stairs and looked back at where Nash had gone, he noticed with a frown that it had definitely gotten hotter and brighter back there, like the fire was getting too damn close. But with the kid's right in front of him, looking at him frightened and scared, he couldn't go back there right now. He had to keep going... praying that Nash was alright.

_"Nash Bridges." He said, shaking his head in disbelief. "Best cop I've ever had on the force, there was one other cop that was a lot like him, my father. I always wished that I had the poise and strength that my father had. Everyone will tell me that I had a great career when I retire and I'll enjoy the party and the gifts etc. But I had hoped that when I did in fact retire, that Nash would take my place. _

"_But I know his job is in the office with you guys, not at some desk. But I came to a time where I needed to step up and leave it for some one else, and I knew Nash would have made that decision some day. But alas, he's in a better place than all of us now. So to all of you, who have worked with him in any aspect, consider yourself fortunate. He was honest, even when he knew he was bending the rules, although he never really did come out and admit it."_

"_One cop that had the privilege of working with Nash for twenty odd years, is sitting up here today, Joe Dominguez is another honest veteran you kids should learn from. Heck they are practically the same person. They always wanted the same thing. Justice. Now we know the every day dangers that come with being a cop, and Nash went out the way any officer would want to, in the line of duty. Valiantly. So buddy enjoy your retirement, even though it came a lifetime before any of us wanted. You'll be missed more than you know."_

_He stepped back from the podium and saluted Nash's casket. He looked straight ahead to see his whole force of men and women standing and doing the same. A tear rolled down his cheek as he fought to hold himself together. _


	6. Chapter 6

My Way

Ch. 6

"Don't stop, just keep moving, don't look back, kids...", Joe kept urging them, as the fire around them seemed to intensify, even blinding him at times, whenever he tried to look behind him, to see how much time they had left. They were almost at the bottom of the stairs now, and further to the front he could already see some light coming in from where he and Nash had broken the revolving door earlier.

He steered directly for that light, telling the kids to just move forward and run for the light. The brighter it got, the clearer the air became and he noticed with slight satisfaction that it was indeed getting a little easier to breath. So when he spoke up, his voice sounded stronger than before:

"Keep moving and go out that door! Go on...go...", he yelled after them and saw that the first ones were already running out the door and onto the street, disappearing out of his view. Looking down to wipe the sweat out of his eyes, he realized that the floor was wet where he stood, so he figured that the fire crews had finally gotten the water flowing, trying to fight to flames down here.

Catching a few wet showers that rained down on him, from a water flow coming in from outside, he made sure that all the kids had made it out the door before he turned around and headed back to where he'd just come from, and up the stairs, that were now creaking dangerously under his feet, as he fought his way upstairs.

He could barely see anything through the smoke up there, but still remembering the outlay from minutes ago, he didn't hesitate long and walked all the way to the back, where Nash had went, and where he figured his partner would still be. Although he was definitely not feeling too confident that this was such a good idea...

The closer he came to the last doors at the end of the hall, the louder did he hear a voice that sounded like a young boy and above that, just slightly clearer there was the voice he knew all too well. It was Nash's. Yet he couldn't make out any words or what they were saying, so when he reached the last door and looked in, he didn't know what to expect. But what he saw made him flinch.

In the middle of the room, half a wall had come down, blocking the way towards the rest of the room, where in all the smoke and debris a little girl was standing right at the wall, not moving, if you didn't count in the heavy shivering sobs that kept on rocking through her body. And looking around he saw Nash, kneeling as close to the crumbled wall as possible with the burning debris all around it, and he was talking to the girl, obviously trying to get her attention and make her look at him. But as frightened as she was, it was one way road.

Whatever Nash had already tried, he wasn't able to get to her, or make her come to him. Not even the voice from the boy, who was standing a few feet behind Nash, made her move. It seemed like those two kids were the only ones left, and with the boy being okay, as far as he could see; now it was only a matter of getting the girl out, too.

"Nash, are you okay??" Joe called out to his friend, making him aware that he was now in the room, and immediately he got a reaction:

"Joe, I can't get to her! Get the boy out here while there's still time."

Throwing a short look over his shoulder and out into the hallway, Joe almost felt like saying 'yeah, right, as if there would be any time left at all', but he didn't, and hurrying over to the boy, picking him up in his arms, he just yelled back at Nash, merely louder than the fire…

"I found the other kids, they're out safely and the fire crews are working downstairs. But this thing is going down, Nash, we can't stay!"

_Joe got up to meet the chief and shake his hand. The chief leaned over and whispered something into his ear._

_"Consider your self their captain"_

_Joe looked up into the chiefs eyes and replied. "It would be an honor." He stepped up to the podium. _

_"That is the end of this ceremony; those of you who wish can join us for the burial after this closing. Thank you."  
_

_To break the silence, a song Nash had requested to be played at his funeral rang in the air._

"And now, the end is near,  
And so I face the final curtain  
My friend, I'll say it clear  
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full  
I traveled each and every highway  
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few  
But then again, too few to mention  
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption  
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway  
And more, much more than this, I did it my way"


	7. Chapter 7

My Way

Ch. 7

"Joe, get the boy and get out!", he screamed, before he turned around to face the wall again, at which the little girl was still standing, shivering with fear, and to scared to move. And with one last hope, putting all the calmness that he had left into his voice, Nash began to speak, loud, but not screaming, urgently, yet not pushing.

Demanding attention. Yet soft, as if they weren't in this building. Not here, in the fire. But somewhere else. Somewhere safe. Where he and the little girl would be able to talk, just talk, and don't let anything else come between them.

"Darling', you can hear me, can't ya? Yeah...I know you can. You're brave. You can hear me...", he started, not taking his eyes off her, looking straight at her little face, and keeping his voice as even as a soft breeze on the water, letting the girl know that he was there, and that she could talk to him whenever she was ready.

Even Joe, who had just thought about calling out for Nash once again, even more urgently, hesitated now, not wanting to risk the bond to break, that seemed to be building there between Nash and the girl, over the distance of merely a few feet, yet far enough away, that it was impossible to reach her. Unless with his voice.

"Come on, please, just look at me...I know you can, darlin', all I want you is to just look over here, don't move, just look over here, can do you that for me, please?", Nash was still softly talking, kneeling even closer to the burning wall that kept him from getting too close.

The hot fire was making his eyes water, and he felt the tingling sensation on his face, whenever the hot air of the flames around them, was reaching for him. If only the girl would make a few steps forward, through that small way that wasn't burning yet, then he could reach for her and pull her out of there. Just a few feet, two steps, three, not more...

"Please, look at me...", he felt the hot waves closing in on him, and didn't know how much longer he'd be able to kneel there where he was now, but suddenly seeing the small, bright eyes, looking at him, he didn't care about the heat any more.

The girl was watching him, scared to hell, and still not moving. But she was now watching him, with a fear in her eyes that told him he would have to think fast, before he lost her again. 

It was like rush hour traffic. Not one person went for their cars, most stood and watched as a group of uniformed officers lifted Nash's casket and carried it out the door to the burial site.

_Lisa was walking out with Cassidy and Inger holding each others hands._

Harvey stayed sitting where he was before, only this time facing the crucifixion that hung above him. He stared up at it with tears rolling down his cheeks. 

_"So Mr. Almighty God, you take Evan...and now Nash? You trying to rid the world of exceptional people? Now I know Evan had his problems, but he trusted in you and you took him away. Nash loved so much, did everything with his heart and you took him away from us. I guess I'll never understand the way you work, but if there is this place called heaven, I know Ev and Nash are there, so I'm not worried per say, I just wanted some more time with them. But I guess they say you work in mysterious ways."_

_He turned back to watch all the people started to leave the church. He was startled by a little girl who had appeared at his side._

"Hello sir."

"Hi little girl, what are you doing up here?"

"You are sad because your friend is gone?"

"Very sad yes." He knelt down to be at eye level with the girl.

"Well, he…he saved my life. And I thought telling you that might help you feel a little better."

Harvey sobbed slightly before thanking the girl. She hugged Harvey and walked away. He turned back to the cross.

"I see your point, thanks."

A quiet smile fell upon his face as he watched the little girl walk out of the church with her mother and father. He held his head down and listened to the song ringing in his ears.  
  
"_Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew  
When I bit off more than I could chew  
But through it all, when there was doubt  
I ate it up and spit it out  
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way_

I've loved, I've laughed and cried  
I've had my fill, my share of losing  
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing  
To think I did all that

And may I say, not in a shy way,  
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"  
For what is a man, what has he got?  
If not himself, then he has not

To say the things he truly feels and not the words of One who kneels  
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!"


	8. Chapter 8

My Way

Ch. 8

"Honey, I know you're frightened, I am too, but I promise you I'll get you out of here. You hear me? I just need a little help from you." He wanted to look behind him to see if Joe had already taken the boy out of the room, but he was afraid to break eye contact with the girl, so he just prayed that Joe was on his way outside. It was getting too damn hot in here...

"I need you to do one thing for me.", he continued, "You don't need to be frightened, I'll be right here with you, so you don't need to be scared, okay?"

For just a second, Nash could hear the boy's voice in the background again, and it sounded like the boy was crying, even struggling against Joe to leave without the little girl. Not looking back him, trusting to Joe take care of the boy, he didn't let it distract himself anymore, and he continued carefully, yet now a little more urgently:

"Can you tell me your name, sweetheart. What's your name, huh?", he broke into a soft smile, not his eyes still burning from the hot air, but not letting that show in his face, as he smiled at the little girl, who actually opened her mouth to speak:

"I-...I'm...Amy..", she said, her voice trembling as much as she was shivering.

"Alright, Amy, I need you to do something, okay? I need you to make one step towards me? Okay? Just one step. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. But I need you to come towards me. Just a little bit. Just one step." he spoke, softly, urging her on, as he saw that she was indeed moving her feet just a little, almost making a step.

"Yeah, that's it, Amy, you're doing great, come on, I know you can do it. Just a little step towards me.", he smiled, and watched as Amy took one step, hesitating shortly, but making another small step forward. She was almost close enough for him to reach for her. Just one more step. One more... 

_Joe couldn't walk a step without shaking someone's hand or hearing: 'I'm sorry' 'He was a great cop' he'll be missed'. He looked up to the sky, the sun that had been hiding behind the clouds all day, came out and the clouds seemed to disappear. It all of a sudden became a Nash kind of day._

Nick appeared next to Joe and patted him on the back.

"You ready for this son?"

"Who ever is?" Joe replied. He watched Nick walk up to meet Lisa, Cassidy and Inger. But something in the distance caught his eye, through all the people he couldn't make out who it was.

_Suddenly he realized, "Angel?" He tried to make his way over but just as he got to where he had seen him, he was gone. He shook his head in disbelief and threw his hands up in the air. _

_"Ah angel." Was all he could say. He went towards the site and stood next to Harvey in the line of officers that had formed, looking straight at the casket he thought __**'This is the hardest day of my life'**__  
_

Seeing the small step she made, Joe felt a relief in his bones that almost made him lose his hold on the boys' arm, but knowing that if he let the boy run towards the girl now, she's just freeze again and they would never make it out. So he held onto the boy, while he heard Nash's soothing voice, his encouraging words with every inch the girl came towards him, almost getting close enough to reach for her and pull her out.

'Just a little more', Joe thought, and staring at the picture in front of him, he felt his lips move, as he was silently mumbling 'come on, one more step...one more step...one more...'

Nash didn't know how much time it took for those small feet to cover the few feet in between him and the girl, but the burning hot sensation right next to him made him realize that no matter how quick the girl was, it wouldn't be quick enough.

So he leaned forward, ignoring the tiny sparks that flew onto his jacket, the hundreds of tiny burning shreds of debris falling down onto his arm, as he leaned towards the girl, telling her to reach out for him.

"Give me your hand, Amy, give me you hand...", and with every word he could feel the seriousness in his voice grow stronger, the smaller the gap between the became, the more urgently became his words, until his voice was above the calm soothing, and merely inches away from panicking himself.

He felt the trembling of her fingers a second before he even touched them, and when her hand made contact with his, he no longer cared about his calm demeanor, and did the only thing he could think of. He reached for her hand, and enclosed his fingers around it, one after another, his hand then reaching further, grabbing her whole arm, her shoulder, feeling the shivers running down her back, as he grabbed her with one arm and picked her up, pulling her towards himself.

Lifting her over the debris, only to catch her with both his arms the second she was with him, shielding her from the flames with his jacket, that he put around her, to protect her from the fiery heat. Having the terrible shaking girl in his arms, he then looked behind him for the fracture of a second, and he saw Joe at the door. His partner was waiting for him at the door, the boy still in his arms. And the heat became unbearable... 


	9. Chapter 9

My Way

Ch. 9

_Joe stood there and listened to the priest and thought of all the times they were so called lucky through the years. He looked out into the crowd and saw a sea of familiar faces._

Kelley was standing behind Lisa, her sunglasses hiding her eyes. God how she loved Nash.

Joe shined a slight smile as he caught a glimpse of Pepe standing next to Big Tiny. The first person to ever throw up in the Cuda.Jake Cage stood behind them, a stone cold look on his face. Joe thought he might have saw a slight tear forming in his eyes.

Joe wasn't sure but made out the tall blonde woman next to Pepe as Tamara. AJ was standing next to Bryn, his head bowed down. Leo was standing with his aunt who was taking care of him; Joe had just met them before the ceremony. Boz stood with his chin straight up as if he was ready to fight.

Tony B. was standing near Bettina, who seemed to be shaking from tears. David Katz had on his sunglasses as if trying to ask conspicuous with his group of agents, they may not have agreed with Nash, but they respected him.

Then his eyes moved back to Tamara who he realized was taking the chance of a lifetime at coming to this and made a mental note to find her in the future. Behind her, he could make out even more, hundreds of people who were there to pay Nash the last respect. It brought tears to Joe's eyes, again, and he couldn't stop thinking about the number of people, how many lives Nash had touched. All those people. And he remembered every one of them...

"Joe! Time to get outta here!" he could hear Nash's yell over the flames, and he tightened his grip on the boys arm, ready to get the hell out of the room and out of the building. It was getting way too hot in there for his liking, and he wanted to be outside when those walls decided they were ready to crumble.

So Joe checked back with Nash, whom he saw picking up the girl in his arms, carrying her securely, before he turned around and headed for the door, crawling, rather than walking. Joe and the boy had to stay low, because on the ground it felt like it was less hot and also easier to breath. He could see Nash coming after them, also making their way over to the door, maybe four or five meters behind him.

His partners progress was slowed down, though, because of the extensive flames that were now covering more and more of the room, and by the time Nash had almost reached the door, it was so thick with smoke in there, that Joe had trouble to make out his partners silhouette.

But the second he saw him again, at least his outline and for a second also Nash's soot covered face, sweaty, but with a sparkling bright gleam in his eyes, he no longer doubted that they still had a chance. Looking back every now and then, Joe crawled forward, out the door and into the hallway, shoving the boy towards the stairs, which were almost blocked by the fire by now.

But as long as they stayed on the far right side of the wall side, it was still possible to get through. He looked back once more, expecting to see Nash right behind him in the hallway. But there was nobody. Just the darkness, shattered by red hot fiery flames shooting out of the other rooms on the right side. But on the left, towards the room he had just left, there was nothing.

Just darkness, smoldering blackness. He was about to go back to see what was keeping Nash so long, when he saw the silhouette hurriedly bolting out the half collapsing door, into the comparably safe hallway, where it landed on the floor. Hard. But safe.

'Jesus, Nash, don't ever scare me again like that', it shot through Joe's mind, and he would have sworn that he had felt his heart stop there for a second. And then it did.

The silhouette was now getting up from the floor, but even standing the person in Nash's jacket looked small. Too small. That was the kid! The girl...

"Nash come on, where are you man..." Joe mumbled nervously, unconsciously biting his lip while turning his head back and forth, looking for the exit down the stairs, and back to the dark hallway, where his partner would be coming. Had to be coming. Just had to.

The little girl came staggering towards him, blocking his view, when she reached him, and as the light of the flames shone on her, he could see her shaking. But this time it wasn't only fear.

It was a blank look in her frightened little face, one that showed panic, and sadness, and the knowledge of having seen something that no young girl, nor anybody else should ever have to see. When she reached him, and shook in fear, he looked her straight in the eye, his own voice now filling with panic.

"Where is he?" Getting no answer, he asked again, harder, the smoke biting in his eyes, filling them with tears that burned fiery hot.

"Where is he??", he shouted, and only the shout of his voice, loud enough to break through to her, got her to speak, while everything around them seemed ready to crash.

"...he pushed me out...out the door..." she whimpered, shedding tears, too many to wipe them away with her little hand.

'The door', his brain caught on, remembering, as the pieces of understanding fell into place all of a sudden. 'The door...'. He'd seen the frame collapsing when she got out... 'Just when they must have been at the door, getting out of the burning room, when it all came down.' he realized, yet feeling unable to register what that meant.

"Naaash!!", his sudden shout shook the walls, as he screamed for his partner, hoping, no praying that he would get an answer, that Nash would shout back at him, anything, any answer.

"Nash! ... Nash!!", he called out loud, his voice breaking, as the burning tears in his eyes reminded him of the fire still racing around them, but not keeping him from moving inch for inch back towards the room, shouting louder against the fire, his calls echoing in the empty hallway, slicing through the flames, being carried over the distance of the hall, but getting no answer.

No answer... Just then the dry snapping sound of another cracking beam at the end of the corridor made his head jerk up, then another crashing ceiling close by forced him to duck, and take the girls arm, shoving her down the stairs along with the boy, urging them to run, run, as fast as they could, as the rest of the hallway collapsed behind them, and Joe had to retreat as well, his hand covering his eyes to shield them from the heat that waltzed down the corridor towards them, forcing him down the stairs, no way other than downstairs, away from the collapsing beams above them.

Once downstairs he called for the two children to run for the door, where he could see some firefighters working their way inside, probably to get them out before the house would come down completely. He looked back at the stairs, not willing to run after them, refusing to follow the yells of the firemen, that shouted at him to get the hell out of there.

He just looked at the stairs, not able to run outside, yet kept away from the stairs by the raging fire that captured the whole staircase. He was held in place, frozen, unable to move one way or the other, and struggled hard when two of the firemen came running at him, overpowering and pulling him away from the stairs, that came down as a burning wreckage right in front of them at this very moment, forcing even the firefighters to duck and eventually pull out, with Joe held tightly in between them, out onto the street, away from the collapsing corridor, and the smoldering blackness of the burnt out revolving door.

The same door he had come in only minutes ago. Had it been minutes? He didn't know. He didn't want to know, either. Still staring at the revolving door, waiting for someone else to come out that door, he waited breathlessly, standing there with his shoulders hunched over, coughing badly and with smoke burning in his eyes, he stared at the one way out. The only way out.

Waiting. Desperately waiting.

Fearing, even knowing, yet not wanting to know. Not understanding what he couldn't understand. What he didn't want to know. Not able to voice the unspeakable.

And the only thing he could see was the door. No voices. Nothing else got through to him. Not Evan's hand on his arm, or the other people behind them. Nor Harvey's words ringing in his ear, talking about something that sounded almost like 'where is Nash'. He didn't hear any of it. And he didn't see the worried glance passed between Harvey and Evan.

Just the door. That was all he saw. All he could think of. All he could feel.


	10. No Goodbyes

My Way

Final Chapter.

Joe couldn't shake the pictures. That last look back. His own scream. And the darkness that looked back at him from the door, the echoes of his own voice in there, as loud as the fire. But suddenly there was silence surrounding him. And it shook him out of his thoughts, realizing that the priest had stopped talking and before he knew it, Harvey and he were called up, and asked to fold the flag.

All eyes were on them as silence filled the air, with quiet whimpers breaking it. Harvey looked straight into Joe's eyes as he laid the last fold. Joe took its grasp and walked to Cassidy and Lisa. He remembered Kelley had asked that they be given it.

"He's always with us." Joe said as he gave them the flag, softly kissing them both.

He walked over to where the Priest had just been.

"Well everyone, for those of you who knew Nash well, you know he hated good byes. And for me this will be the hardest one I will have to make. I don't think God created words large enough to speak of what this man has meant to me and will always mean to me. But no good byes right bubba? I know I will see you again; we'll go on gigs again, drive in the Cuda again, and share our jokes again. So don't you worry about a thing bubba, I got every thing under control. I love you Nash man, more than you will ever possibly know… Well, I guess I'll see ya later."

He blew a kiss towards the casket and stood back in line with the other officers, they all turned to salute as shots rang in the air. Bag pipes had begun to play as those who wished walked by the casket to pay their last respects.

Joe stood with Lisa near her car as people apologized for their loss. After Joe walked Inger to the car, he asked Harvey to go over Lisa's and stay with her. He needed to do one more thing before he left.

When everyone else cleared out, slowly walking towards to the gate that leads out of the cemetery, Joe didn't move along. He stood there, looking after all the people. So many of them. So many friends.

Feeling a shiver run through him, shaking him from deep inside, he took a shallow breath, and looked down, onto the ground beneath his feet. Then, taking all his strength to move his head, he looked up again. He was alone now. As alone as anyone could be. Ever. The only one left. Aside from...

Slowly, almost hesitatingly, he turned his head, and looked over to the flowers. A sea of flowers. So many, you could almost refuse to see the ground on which they lay. He was still standing there, as if not sure where to go, yet knowing where his feet would walk him. So he took the first step, walking over to the last resting place of his friend. His partner.

And setting one foot in front of the other, yet never consciously remembering any step of this way later on, he walked towards the sea of flowers, and to the casket that was covered below them. He stopped, his hands folded in front of his suit, looking down onto the wooden casket.

He remained standing there, until he could no longer remember how much time he'd spent there, but it had only been minutes. His right hand slowly loosened its grip on the left one and slid into his pocket, retrieving a small sheet of paper, folded in two, but now he took it out and held it tightly in his hand.

He knew what was on the paper. He had brought it with him. But now he felt like he didn't have the strength to do it. He wanted to. He also knew he needed to. But he couldn't. He couldn't do it.

His hand started shaking, slowly at first, then badly, as he felt the tears burning in his eyes again, like they had when he had taken that last look at the door...

And when the tears flowed freely down his cheeks, running down the side of his face, his legs gave in and he couldn't hold himself upright any longer. He fell down into his knees, his hand still holding the paper, knowing what he was here to do, but knowing that he couldn't get the words out.

His throat was clenched tight with feelings, and sadness too big to swallow. So he looked down, at his own hand which still held the paper that was now crumpled at the edge, and stained with tears that smeared some of the handwritten words. And with his vision blurred from the tears in his eyes, he looked down at the words on the paper, although knowing them by heart.

"Nash..." he said, his voice as shaky as his feet, kneeling there in front of the casket,

"...I don't know if you can hear me, I...I think you do...so..." He glanced at the paper in his hands, but then he knew that there was only one way to do this. Only one real way to say what he wanted to say.

So he took one of the flowers, ignored the stinging in his hand as his fingers brushed over the roses thorns, and laid the paper in the middle of the sea of flowers, putting the single rose on the edge of it, so that it wouldn't be brushed away by the slight, almost soothing breeze that was coming up. As if it was trying to blow away his tears with a warm wind of hope, comforting him.

"I know you don't like good byes...but I...I'm gonna miss you, Nash", he felt a lump in his throat the size of the golf ball and suddenly he couldn't hold himself together any more.

When his hand came to rest on the casket, he leaned forward till his forehead touched the casket, kissing it. Then, although he did not know whether his feet would support him, nor if he was even able to get up, if he tried to, he slowly stood up, and laying his hand onto the rose that covered the letter, he said a silent goodbye, with his heart only.

He knew that Nash would understand. With one last look, he let his gaze wave over what he saw in front of him, one last time. He felt the urge to wipe away the tears in his eyes, but willed himself to stand there motionlessly, while the slight breeze played with the edges of the paper lying on the casket, softly tugging at the letter, as if demanding it.

He couldn't shake the feeling that Nash was reading it, letting the wind take the words up to him, up to where he was now. Those words on the paper, spoken right from Joe's heart, softly carried by the wind...

"_This is who I am, and this is all I know. _

_I have to choose to live, And give all that I can give._

_Stand for my dream if I can, _

_Cuz' of my faith in who I am. _

_I gotta take the road ahead, _

_Which controls my heart or head._

_Not a chosen roll for me to play, _

_Seems the storm won't end. _

_Cross my badge I'll find my way,_

_Even with my destiny ridin' in the wind. _

_Every ounce of me, has gotta' see it through._

_I have a dream, a dream that must come true._

_A vision and a fire inside, filled with my love for you. _

_Feelin's I never could hide, whatever happens You know I do._

_Makin' my journey through eternity,_

_Promising we won't say good-bye._

_Gotta' make em' all remember me,_

_Remembering will give me immortality._

While the paper was softly fluttering in the wind, Joe turned around, walking away from the place, where he was leaving half of his life, while the sun shone over his shoulders, warming them, like a comforting hand on his back.

And all that was left behind was a paper on the casket, held in place by a single rose, cradled by the wind.

The End


End file.
